6.22.2009

{i can't believe...}

I can't believe that I actually cried watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 tonight. I'm someone who has never cried watching a sad movie or anything like that. I guess I've always "known" in the back of my mind that movies are just fictious and even the ones based off of true stories don't actually have the "real" people depicting the events - so I really don't get emotional about them. (does that make sense?). But, this was different because this is real and these are the "real" people who are deciding to get a divorce.

I seriously just sat there and cried - I remember watching their first show, before they had a series and thinking what a great family they were and how wonderful it was to hear about a couple who (like me) did not believe in "reducing" their sextuplets. I was so thrilled when I heard that they would be having a series and I have been a faithful viewer ever since. Sure, I know that Kate could come across as a "nag" and that Jon sometimes seemed like he was trying to "re-live his youth" or something...but I never ever thought they would end up deciding to divorce! As I watched tonight, I thought back to one of their episodes where they were discussing a "Family Mission Statement" that Jon & Kate had written and had printed. I believe the first thing mentioned in their statement was that their family's first priority was their faith in God and that they would honor Him above all else. I also remember Kate saying once that they had promised their kids that "mommy and daddy would always be together no matter what." I wonder if she or Jon remembers that. And, I truly am shocked that these two seem to have jumped to the conclusion that "divorce is the best answer" so quickly. I think that they should have tried a lot more than just six months to save their marriage. Wow. I still can not believe it. I know they have both been accused of some pretty terrible things, whether or not those accusations are true - I still think they could have worked this out. I have often thought that the two of them don't fully realize how much their kids understand, how capable they all are of "figuring out what's going on." They should at least realize that Mady and Cara know - and as for the sextuplets: five-year-olds are certainly old enough to figure it out too. Maybe that is what upset me the most and actually made me cry. I just can't imagine what it is like to have parents who are divorced. Oh, it just breaks my heart to think that this family who we just saw together during Jon & Kate's vow-renewal is now going to be changed forever. :(

I really do wonder if this wouldn't have happened if they never were televised. But, you know - God has a plan for everything and everything happens for a reason. Although, I still have a hard time seeing how God is going to be able to use a divorce for good - but, I know somehow, someway He will.

Now, I just want to make it clear to any one who is reading this who is divorced or who does not get as upset about divorce like me - I am certainly not "judging" you. That it absolutely not my intention at all. I am just someone who feels strongly that you only get married once, and that marriage is more than just a "contract" - it is a covenant between you, your spouse, and God; and that if it is truly rooted in Him and He is at the center of your marriage - then that marriage will be blessed. I do realize that there are circumstances where divorce is ok, but I even think those should be at least tried to be worked out. I'm not yet married myself, but I know that God has that all worked out for me. :)

So, yep - it's official. I have never cried watching tv or a movie. (until now) And I never thought that I would, in a way, become somewhat "attached" to people I watch on tv to the point where I would become so upset about their marital issues - but I have. There is just *something* about the Gosselin family that has always touched me - and I will continue to pray for them and pray that God will touch and heal the hurt that they are going through.

You know, I'm still going to hold to my idea that Jon and Kate should get some counselling from the Duggars (from 18 Kids & Counting)! :)

Sorry that I was sort of rambling, and again - I am not at all intending to judge anyone who feels differently about the topic than me. Really, I'm not. post signature

12 comments:

  1. I found it sad too....and I remember that episode you are talking about with the family mission statement. Last night's episode was so odd (I am not a faithful watcher though) in comparison to other seasons I have seen.....very sad.

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  2. You put into words what I have been thinking. I couldn't agree more. So sad for this family.

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  3. I didn't see the show last night and I'm glad I didn't cause I probably would have cried too! I so totally agree with everything you have written! Well said! :)

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  4. Last nite was extremely sad. It really broke my heart to see how hurt Kate is and Jon...well...I almost think it's a midlife crisis of some sort. None of their problems are something that can't be worked through...and I don't think divorce is the best answer.

    They'll be in my prayers and I'll pray for those poor little ones. I'm just so saddened by it all :(

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  5. Just stopping by...found your page through a couple of different pages.
    I was sad last night too. Sad that they say they base that marriage off of God. But they lost sight of that. Makes you wonder if their vow renewal was just for TV.

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  6. I just posted about this too...the whole things is sad and frustrating at the same time. I've watched since the beginning...I feel just awful for Kate and the kids but Jon...well he sure has done a 180!

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  7. I just feel an ache for their sweet kids. =( I didn't get to see the episode, but I read about it and watched the "announcement" on TLC's website. I've loved all of them from the very first time I watched the show, but all this makes me not want to watch it anymore. =( They kept saying it was best for their kids this way, but I think the kids might rather have mommy and daddy together, even if they do fight.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Celeste. =)

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  8. I haven't watched the show in forever and I was never a regular viewer anyway. That said, I have seen some episodes. I agree with you on a lot of things in this post. One thing though, I don't believe it is in God's plan for anyone to have their marriage and family torn apart. I believe God wants the highest and best for us and if we followed His will, we'd achieve that. But, because we were given free will, sometimes we really take a spill with our poor choices and our loss of focus on Him.

    Even though we miss the mark, we sin, I believe God can say, "I can work with this" even though it was not in His original plan for us. I don't believe it was His plan for these little kids to have two parents who no longer want to raise them together. I don't believe it was His plan for their relationship to crumble.

    Personally, the fatal flaw planted itself early on in the relationship. God has a blueprint for how a family should be set up - the man and woman are partners but the man has the final say and then the children are the next tier. Just as God is the head of the family that we have been adopted into through accepting Christ, the man is supposed to be the head of the family. In this situation, it seems to be, Kate is the head, then the children and then John. It is completely perverted (I don't use this term as gross, but as twisted) from the example God gave us to follow. The relationship between that man and woman come first - forsaking ALL others - because if their relationship doesn't work, they can't work as a cohesive unit to rear children. Kate says her kids come first - that's not a good thing. You are a wife first - then a mother. John should have taken his rightful spot at the head from the git-go to avoid this mess

    You can see the glaring difference between a family that hasn't followed God's blueprint for success in how their family is set up versus one that is, such as the Duggars. The Duggars seem very comfortable in the traditional roles of a married couple with a family. John & Kate + 8 you see dissention, contention, strife, and chaos. With 18 kids and counting, you see, unity, prosperity, devotion and love.

    I think the lesson is if you follow God's plans (they're written down for us, just check out the Bible!) instead of trying to make your own, you'll always come out ahead in the end.

    That's my two sense!

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  9. Bella, I totally agree with you. Well said

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  10. Yeah, I definitely think the TV thing plays into the stress and strain of a marriage. I think it did a number on Jessica Simpson's marriage, too.

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  11. It was really sad. I felt so bad. For the kids. That the marriage didn't work out. I think everyone is wondering if this would have happened if they hadn't had the show. Jon seems like he wants to run around & have fun.

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  12. I agree with you somewhat Bella,that somewhere the roles are reversed. I feel no woman on earth should make a man quit his job and become a mommy.It really sad and I think Jon may be a more go with the flow guy,trying to please his wife.While the mom travels for more money! While money can be a good thing ,it should not be top priority in your life. Its your family!
    I feel this went to her head ,she doesn't treat others well and I know we are only seeing a part of what goes on. I don't like what I see.I watch the show when I am at my Mom's because she loves it.
    Maybe if they both sit down and watch their own show from the beginning,they will remember each other .

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